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  ‘You know, you’d make a very good counsellor, Mr. O’Neil.’

  He looked at me with sincere pride. ‘You think so?’

  ‘Absolutely. Not only do you possess the innate compassion to understand the hardships of others,’ I said deliberately, ‘but you also know how to convey advice without sounding … preachy.’

  He said nothing to that. All he did was stare ahead of him, thinking on it.

  As we came into Ledbury Road, my tummy growled with a vengeance. I could hardly afford to pack myself a proper lunch these days. Some days, when I had neither food nor money, I packed a lunch box just for appearances. How embarrassing was that? I couldn’t even afford a damn sandwich, yet there I was at the helm of a program that helped other struggling souls. Josh could never know just how poor I was. Not only was it humiliating, but the likes of him would never even look in the direction of a woman who didn’t even have the means to buy a new bra when the clasps of the only two she owned were broken.

  ‘Ah, here we are,’ he said and pointed to the imposing beige and black building with red carpet leading up to its polished glass doors. The posh calligraphy on the face of the building identified the restaurant and my heart jumped just above my burning stomach.

  God, I hope he can’t hear my tummy grunting, I thought as I aimed for the parking area a few hundred feet away.

  ‘Where are you going?’ he asked.

  ‘Around the corner. You can’t be seen arriving in this heap of junk, can you?’ I said awkwardly, but Josh was having none of it.

  ‘Park right here, Miss Cross,’ he insisted, pointing to the parking space right outside the entrance. ‘We’re paying for our meals. I think the car we arrive in is none of their damn business, wouldn’t you say?’

  I had to concede. The staff of this place probably knew him well enough not to care what he drove in on. Still, it was a tad uncomfortable to park among all the Bentleys, BMWs and sports cars with names I couldn’t pronounce. He hopped out and came around the front of my car to open my door. Again, Josh did something I hadn’t seen coming. He sure was interesting and unpredictable … in the good way.

  ‘Your usual table, Mr. O’Neil?’ the maître d' asked as we entered.

  ‘You know it, Harold,’ Josh replied.

  The tightly dressed penguin didn’t even pay attention to my office getup before leading the way to a corner table by a window overlooking the luscious garden outside. It looked like a fairyland, with garden lights fixed under the ferns and flowers to illuminate the beauty of the greenery.

  ‘After you, m’lady.’

  Josh placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me forward and I almost had a heart attack. Years had passed since that beautiful rush filled my skin at the mere touch of a hand. And that wasn’t the only pleasant sensation that enveloped me. The envy in the eyes of women seated around us was apparent, with their hungry stares darting between Josh and me as if they secretly imagined our bodies pressed together, our lips locked passionately.

  My thoughts wandered as he pulled out my chair for me. What must it be like to live a life like this, to have this kind of attention and comfort, to never have to need for anything? Like heaven, I imagined. I was important, even if it was only because of the circumstances. I was somebody for a little moment in time and that was good enough for me.

  ‘What would you like to drink?’ he asked me.

  The waiter stared down at me with a stiff-upper-lip kind of glare. He reminded me of a judge at the witch trials, but I was with Josh O’Neil and no one could look down on me tonight.

  ‘What do you have on tap?’ I asked.

  ‘On tap, madam?’ He eyed me questioningly while remaining perfectly still. If his mouth didn’t move, I would have thought him inanimate entirely.

  ‘You must sell beer, right?’ What planet was this man from?

  ‘Of course, madam.’

  Maybe he’s never heard of the term ‘on tap,’ I reasoned to myself. ‘In that case, I’ll have a pint, with a squeeze of lime, please.’

  I cast a quick glance at Josh to see if he approved of my choice of alcohol, but he had his hands clasped under his chin, leering at me in silent wonderment as if I were significant.

  ‘And for you, sir?’ the waiter asked him.

  ‘Make that two. I’ve never had the pleasure’—his eyes penetrated mine with subliminal intent on a pun—‘of beer with lime before.’

  ‘Very well, sir,’ the waiter said abruptly with a courteous nod, turned on his heel and marched away like some World War II soldier.

  ‘You have taste, Miss Cross, I’ll give you that.’ Josh grinned and winked.

  ‘Especially for a pauper,’ I mumbled as I looked around at the couples adjacent to us.

  He passed me a menu. ‘I believe that ladies get to choose their own dishes.’

  ‘Thank God for progress.’ I chuckled as I perused the insane cost of some of these meals. ‘If I had to eat what some of my dates considered food, I’d probably collapse in less than ten minutes.’

  ‘They should know that a woman of your calibre will choose nothing but the best. Hell, they should know that your company is their privilege,’ Josh said.

  My body tingled with a sensual thrill that someone so handsome could hold me in such high regard.

  ‘As I do,’ he added.

  Before I could respond, the uptight waiter arrived with our drinks.

  ‘Are you ready to order, sir?’

  We ordered our dinner and I decided against having more alcohol, despite Josh offering to get me a taxi home and have my car dropped off the following day. I had a reason for this: I was a stupid drunk. He didn’t know I wasn’t the type who got horny or aggressive after a few drinks; rather, I was the confused, goofy and clumsy sort and I wasn’t about to let him find out first hand.

  As the night wore on and the dessert arrived, we thawed completely to each other and were having a relaxed conversation.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re related to Craig,’ I said openly. ‘No offence.’

  He shook his head. ‘None taken at all. I can’t believe it either. It’s astounding how two people who were conceived and raised by the same people could end up so different in morals and personality. Thank God.’ He took a hefty gulp of his Scotch as if trying to drink the thought away.

  I shook my head. It dawned on me that no amount of money could fix genetics or soothe bad ties. Every family had their hell, no matter what status or financial freedom they possessed.

  ‘What about you?’ he asked, a question I’d dreaded.

  ‘Only child, raised by wolves in Ireland,’ I said casually and buried my nose in the tumbler of Coke I’d ordered a few moments before. The dessert, a beautiful slice of cheesecake, sat pretty on my plate.

  Josh laughed heartily at my response, but little did he know it wasn’t far from the truth, save for the animal factor. Well, almost.

  ‘I just learnt early in life to make my own way, no matter what it took. God, the jobs I’ve held down to survive,’ I shared reluctantly.

  ‘Like what?’ he asked, putting a heap of oven-baked ginger cake into his mouth and sucking in air to soothe the heat on his tongue. My expression must have displayed my embarrassment, because he waved his hand dismissively, liberating me from my obligation to answer.

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s not the carnal kind of stuff,’ I joked.

  ‘I wasn’t going to suggest that. But sometimes I feel like a right whore in my line of business. Some of the things Craig gets me to do makes me feel used and degraded, especially when he decides to seal deals with questionable allies and acquires business partners with not so reputable names, if you get what I mean?’

  I nodded. ‘I had no idea you were at his mercy this much.’

  ‘What?’ he gasped. ‘I mean, I have an equal share in the company, but Craig thinks he’s a law unto himself. That’s the problem.’

  ‘I can imagine. That man is a walking pile of arrogance, bossing people ar—I�
�m sorry. I just think he’s grossly entitled.’

  ‘Don’t apologise. You’ve summed him up to a T,’ he agreed.

  ‘Do you think we can get him to reconsider about the centre?’ I asked him outright.

  He pursed his lips. ‘I don’t know. Unfortunately this project is his little baby. But I’ll try my best to get him to change his mind.’

  My chest tightened as he said the words.

  He leant towards me and I lost myself in his eyes. ‘Do you mind if I say something … personal?’

  ‘No,’ I said, my head firmly in the clouds.

  ‘Whoever has the pleasure of waking up with you each morning is one lucky guy.’

  ‘Who says I wake up with anyone?’ My voice took on a husky tone all on its own and inwardly, I cringed.

  ‘A woman like you?’ He raised his brows. ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘It’s true.’

  ‘Then I’m shocked.’ Despite his comment, he sounded pleased with my answer.

  I was seriously starting to wonder whether his flirting was fuelled by alcohol, until I realised he’d only had a pint and the drink in his hand.

  I shrugged and broke the intense eye contact. I glanced around the room at the other diners. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world as waiters popped and poured bottles of champagne as if it were water. I turned back to Josh, who was still gazing at me through the thick lashes that framed his magnetic eyes.

  I didn’t want to ask the question but felt compelled to know. ‘What about you? Anyone special in your life?’

  He leant back in his seat.

  ‘There wasn’t …’ He let the words trail off and took a mouthful of his drink.

  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  ‘Would you care to elaborate?’ I pressed, gnawing on my bottom lip as I waited impatiently for his answer.

  ‘For you, Amber, I’d do anything.’

  He shot me a look of such melting adoration I wanted to climb over the table and kiss his delectable lips hard. Instead, I gripped the edge of my seat, with my mind screaming, Tell me damn it. Are you seeing someone or not?

  His eyes flashed with amusement as if he sensed my inner distress.

  ‘I mean’—his words were slow and measured—‘there hasn’t been anyone on my radar.’

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. ‘And now?’

  ‘And now, Amber.’ He held my gaze. ‘There’s, shall we say, a blip on my screen.’

  My curiosity got the better of me and I asked, injecting humour into my voice, ‘Big or small?’

  He was about to reply when the waiter appeared at his side. ‘Any more drinks, sir?’

  Josh gave me a questioning look and I shook my head. ‘No, we’re fine for now.’

  ‘Very good, sir.’ He disappeared as quickly as he’d arrived.

  ‘Now where were we?’ he asked as his eyes drifted over my face. ‘Ah yes. I’d say quite a big blip.’

  ‘That’s good to know.’ If my smile grew any wider, I was sure my face would crack.

  By midnight, we ended up at my place and I couldn’t help but wonder how things would play out. He was absolutely irresistible, but I had to keep my wits about me. The O’Neils were, after all, the enemy.

  ‘Coffee?’ I asked, hoping I hadn’t missed any underwear lying around.

  ‘Yes, thanks,’ he said as I switched on the lights.

  We sat down on the sofa, waiting for the kettle to boil, but the silence between us wasn’t awkward at all. I stared into his enticing eyes, my body pulsated in that long-lost way I thought my nervous system had forgotten.

  Josh reached out to me in the timid light of the lamp, and I let him. His fingertips grazed my throat as he ran his hand along my jaw, stopping at my chin. He tilted my head back and I closed my eyes, waiting for that first touch of his lips. And he didn’t disappoint. The scent of his skin and hair overwhelmed me once more as his hard body pushed in against me, and he locked his warm kiss on my open lips. My body flushed with hot passion and my heart raced as his tongue played on mine, but it was his heavy, slow breathing that drove me crazy.

  All I wanted to do was rip his clothes off and relish in his affections, but I knew giving in to my desires would backfire on me if I threw myself at him. I didn’t want him to think I was sleeping with him just for his assistance in the eviction problem at the centre.

  ‘Josh, wait,’ I barely managed to say. My body ached for his, but I had to keep my head on straight.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked tenderly.

  ‘Nothing. Oh, nothing,’ I said breathlessly evoking a snigger from him. ‘But I don’t want to move too quickly. Please, don’t think for a minute I don’t want to—’

  He interrupted me gracefully. ‘No need to explain, Amber. I understand completely.’

  To my surprise, he stayed for his coffee, engaging me in some light-hearted banter until his taxi arrived shortly before 1:30 a.m.

  Putting our dirty cups in the sink, I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before I saw Josh again and what, if anything, would happen between us.

  Chapter 17

  Amber

  For the first time since all this trouble started at the centre, I awoke with a feeling of hope and, what the hell, I felt downright happy for once. It was a sensation of excitement, lined by some ill feeling of premonition, but I wrote that off to a lifetime of always having had to fight for what I had. In the past, when I was happy or things were going my way, I found that such elation was simply a trap, the cruel trick of the gods preparing me for what was to come. ‘Nobody rides for free,’ as they say. And I learnt this the hard way.

  And yet, this time round, I consciously decided that the past tribulations were of my own doing, due to my mind set and my expectation that things would go wrong. Therefore, when I awoke after my wonderful night with a gracious and sweet man who held as much intelligence as he did morality, I refused to boycott my happiness. I would admit that, finally, I had worked hard enough to deserve good things.

  Even the weather played along. For the cool season, the morning was remarkably temperate and pleasant.

  ‘No rain to dodge today.’

  I brought my cold coffee cup to my lips, took a sip and quickly replaced it on the table. The sky was blue, save for a few tiny clouds here and there, but the birds were testifying to the break in the miserable grey. I quickly munched on my single slice of heavily buttered toast. As I pulled on my coat, I inadvertently cast a glance at the sofa. My heart jolted and my legs did that numb thing again. At once, I could smell Josh, feel his touch and revel in that deep kiss we’d shared just before his hand started wandering into my blouse.

  ‘Stop it. Stop, you have work, you slut,’ I told myself and poured the rest of the bad coffee into the sink.

  I had to hurry or I’d be late. Strangely enough, even as close as we’d got the night before, Josh and I hadn’t exchanged mobile numbers. Would he have sent me a sweet morning text if we had, or was I just dreaming ahead? Nevertheless, I expected at least a note from him on my desk when I got to the centre. Before he’d left in his taxi, he’d once more caressed my jaw and kissed me gently in parting.

  I would never admit it, but I hoped he would show up at the centre, maybe for lunch or something like that. For that very reason, I wore my sexiest office outfit, one I’d especially mended after Josh had left. It was a pencil skirt I never wore because the hem was frayed, with a silk top with a low neck that stopped short of my cleavage. Stylish, with a touch of class.

  I didn’t want to wish too hard, but just maybe this once, it was all real. Why else would he have spent so much time and money on me? I made for my Mini, looking forward to that scent that still permeated my car.

  When I arrived at work, I made a conscious choice to switch into professional mode, even just to maintain my composure as the captain of this condemned vessel.

  Back to business, I thought, so I can carry on the plans for our next move.

  But I
couldn’t help but feel good about the connection I’d made with Josh on a more personal level. My staff and colleagues didn’t need to know I might have secured our future by getting better acquainted with one of our landlords.

  The centre wasn’t as busy as usual and most of the regular volunteers were nowhere in sight.

  I hope they’re not so convinced of the demise of the centre that they’ve already upped and left.

  I passed Jen’s vacant desk and headed to my office. As I tossed my purse into my desk’s bottom drawer, Christina spoke up behind me. ‘Morning, Amber.’

  ‘Hey, morning, Chris. Where is everyone?’ I asked cheerfully.

  Hard as Christina tried to cover her sullen disposition, she failed terribly.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  She ignored my question. ‘Can you please come to the meeting room? We need to speak to you urgently.’

  Without another word, she walked away towards the conference room.

  My stomach sank as though I were a child being summoned to the principal’s office. I was in trouble, I reckoned, but I couldn’t imagine what for.

  Walking into the boardroom felt like walking into a wall of negative emotion. They all sat there, grimacing at me. The once smiling, silly people I knew like family resembled a firing squad. As always, I resorted to a bit of an asinine remark to brighten things up.

  ‘If this is the Spanish Inquisition … I’m innocent,’ I mock pleaded.

  ‘Thanks for nothing, Amber,’ Jennifer said coldly as I sat.

  With a careless hand, she slid a business card from Avant Garde across the polished desk to me. The shot of betrayal echoed from deep in my core and outward into my every nerve, escaping me in an audible gasp.

  ‘We know you and Josh O’Neil went there last night. We saw the two of you leaving in your car, so obviously it wasn’t difficult to put two and two together,’ Jennifer explained in her mildest bitch voice.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I asked, astonished.

  ‘Oh come on, Amber,’ Harry jumped in, his hands folded between his knees, his face pulled in indifference to my inquiry. ‘My roommate works at Avant Garde as a waiter and he saw you getting all cosy with the bastard who’s selling us out. From what he said about you flirting with Josh, it’s pretty obvious you weren’t there to save the centre.’