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  ‘That spells only one thing, babe,’ Christina added. ‘You’re in cahoots with them, probably siding with them, you know, for when the doors close on us and you need a job. You go out to dinner with him and we get an email first thing this morning reminding us of our eviction date.’ She slid a piece of paper to the edge of the table.

  ‘Oh Christ, are you lot for real?’ I cried unintentionally. ‘This is bullshit. I’m as shocked as you. I had a business dinner with Josh. If anything—’

  ‘Give it up, Amber. We know you’re sleeping with the enemy,’ Jennifer said, shaking her head.

  ‘I’m not sleeping with anyone, Jennifer,’ I retorted, fed up with the false accusations while all I’d done was help. ‘Isn’t that your area?’

  My colleagues caught their breath but I didn’t care anymore. If they wanted to make me out to be a traitorous whore, the gloves were coming off.

  Jennifer looked stunned at my remark but I ignored her. I’d had to say something in retaliation.

  I picked up the printed email and shook it in my fist.

  ‘I went out for a bloody meal in the hope of getting Josh to talk his brother round, nothing else,’ I said, taking the time to meet everyone’s gazes. ‘And I am tired of people hanging me for trying my hardest for those who don’t trust me. I’ll go and sort this shite out once and for all.’

  I sneered as I screwed the notice into a ball and stormed towards the door.

  ‘Where are you going?’ Christina asked meekly.

  I spun around with force, nearly spraining my neck. ‘Berkley-O’Neil is about to get some religion from me. I’m done playing nice. It’s Judgement Day for Josh O’Neil.’

  ***

  I stormed into Josh’s office without even checking in with the pretty young receptionist that didn’t even have the capacity to spell her own name correctly—Gessika, indeed—but it was funny how she managed to sport a forced cleavage that killed her A-cups for the effect.

  She’s probably Craig’s lunch every day.

  ‘Amber,’ Josh addressed me, perplexed.

  ‘Before you start flashing that tired little charming smile, I have a few words for you,’ I ranted.

  ‘Wait, what?’ he asked, rising from his seat. He looked genuinely concerned when I told him about the email his company had sent out this morning.

  ‘Is this why I was wined and dined? God knows what I almost gave you last night …’ I shouted, holding nothing back.

  ‘Amber, listen—’

  ‘I’m done listening. My God, you’re no better than your sick brother, trying to get me in the sack before getting rid of me in the good old red-tape way. I actually believed you were a decent bloke.’

  ‘I am, Amber,’ he said, as he approached. He sidestepped me and closed the door. ‘Look, take a breather and sit down.’

  ‘What for? So you can lie to me again?’

  ‘Amber, I didn’t lie to you. I said I’d try to make him see sense. That’s all. Nothing more.’

  ‘Nothing more?’ I almost yelled. The anger coursing through my veins had nothing to do with him; it had to do with my team at the centre. It hurt that they could think so little of me, and Josh was the one paying for their disloyalty.

  I paced the floor like a caged animal. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if yesterday was a set-up.’

  Josh looked at me as if I had two heads. ‘A set-up?’

  ‘Yes, a set-up. You know, making sure we were seen together at the restaurant so it would get back to my team and make me look like a traitor. God, and there I was thinking you were the perfect gentleman when you didn’t seem bothered when I stopped you—’

  ‘Amber—’

  ‘Don’t Amber me. I’ve got your number, Josh O’Neil. You ain’t gonna charm your way out of this one.’

  He walked back around his desk and sat down, unfazed by my outburst. When he spoke, a cold edge tinged his voice. ‘This is a family-owned company. You know that. You know I have no power unless the other shareholders agree. And in this instance, I couldn’t oppose Craig, even if I wanted to.’

  The words filtered through to my brain. He may well be telling the truth, but the sting of it all was too much.

  I opened the door, and stopped. ‘Well, you might be too useless to do something against your brother, but I am not!’

  Chapter 18

  Zack

  Come on, lighten up. What’s the worst that can happen? I’d been asking myself the same question for over an hour and I still hadn’t come up with a suitable reply that would convince me to walk into the centre. I’d been standing around like a Muppet, working up the nerve to go inside. In the end, I resorted to downing the beer in my bag to give myself some Dutch courage. It was too early to have a drink, but what was the alternative? Hightail it home and spend another day in misery, feeling sorry for myself?

  Popping a chewing gum into my mouth, I chomped furiously before heading to the entrance of the centre. Before I went inside, I blew a mouthful of breath into my hands to make sure the scent of alcohol had been masked.

  As I stepped over the threshold, the woman standing behind the reception desk looked over at me. She was blonde with out of control, frizzy hair. She gave me a welcoming smile, and despite the tension in my shoulders, I relaxed a little.

  ‘Hello…?’ She cocked her head to one side, waiting for me to complete her sentence with my name.

  I said the first name that came to mind, ‘Steve.’

  ‘Hi, Steve. Come in.’

  Like a frightened animal unsure of her intentions, I took one step forward and stopped.

  ‘I don’t bite, Steve.’

  Her voice had a way of putting me at ease.

  ‘Is Paul around?’ I asked, inching in a few feet farther, my confidence growing with each step.

  ‘Paul? Sure, of course,’

  If she was surprised that I knew someone who volunteered at the centre, her face didn’t show it. I balled my hands into fists as she picked up the phone and pressed a button. Seconds later, she said into the mouthpiece, ‘Jen, can you ask Paul to come to reception please. He has a visitor.’

  In that instant, I wanted to run away from the centre as fast as my legs would carry me, but I’d procrastinated for too long; Paul was on his way down the stairs.

  ‘Hey, you came.’ He beamed as he strode over to me.

  I took a step back, wary he might hug me or something in front of the woman. I folded my arms across my chest.

  ‘Yeah,’ I said.

  ‘Do you wanna come upstairs or go for a walk?’

  ‘A walk,’ I mumbled. Just standing inside the centre was a big enough step for one day.

  ‘Sure.’ He turned to face the woman and after she gave him a nod of approval, we set off down the road, walking toward the park.

  ‘So have you got a name?’ Paul asked as we walked into the play area. I grabbed hold of a swing and sat down.

  ‘Zack,’ I said truthfully.

  ‘It’s nice to meet you, Zack.’ He walked to stand in front of me and held out his hand and this time, I took it. Paul smiled and sat on the swing next to mine.

  We pushed ourselves back and forth in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I glanced over at him. He looked so content, peaceful—a state of being I could only dream of.

  ‘So what do you do at the centre?’ I asked, genuinely interested.

  ‘Admin and whatever else needs doing.’

  ‘Do you talk to … Do you talk to…?’ I couldn’t get the words out. I’d never dared say them out loud before.

  ‘Do I talk to people like … you?’ He finished for me in a voice laced with compassion and understanding.

  ‘And who are people like me?’ I wanted the truth to come from his lips, not mine.

  ‘People who are lost and confused and have no one to turn to.’

  ‘And why don’t they have anyone to talk to?’ I pressed.

  He shrugged. ‘Because they’re scared of rejection and ridicule, of people ha
ting them for being different.’

  I remained silent for a few minutes before I spoke again. ‘How did you know? About me, I mean?’

  Paul grabbed the chain on my swing, bringing me to an abrupt halt. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. I was scared of what he would see in my eyes.

  ‘Because I used to wear that very same face when I first came to London.’ He stood and came to stand in front of me again. ‘There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Zack. Once you can face up to the truth, believe me, it gets easier.’

  There. He’d said the word and my world hadn’t come crashing down on me. Lightning hadn’t struck me dead. I was still the same person I’d been only seconds ago.

  ‘Have you told anyone? Family? Friends?’

  I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes.

  ‘You know you’d be surprised to learn how many people you love aren’t raging homophobes. Sometimes I think we just punish ourselves because it’s us who can’t accept that we’re not wired the same as other people. No matter how much we’d like to be.’

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The last thing I wanted to do was start blubbering on a child’s swing like a baby. But the relief of admitting my true feelings to someone proved too much and hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

  Paul gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before pushing his hand into his pocket and offering me a piece of chewing gum.

  I half laughed. ‘I thought you were going to give me a tissue.’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘That nonsense only happens in the movies. What would a big butch man like me be doing carrying tissues in my pockets?’ He jested and puffing out his chest.

  I laughed more loosely and literally felt the darkness around me evaporate.

  We stayed in the park talking until the blue sky darkened. I told him everything about me. By the time I’d finished, he knew more about me than anyone else I knew. If my uncle hadn’t called me on my mobile phone, I would have stayed in the park with Paul forever.

  ‘I’d better go,’ I said reluctantly as I rose to my feet.

  I saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes and I was happy to know he felt the same way I did.

  ‘Do you want to swap numbers?’ he asked. ‘The centre might be closing down soon, so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be volunteering there.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be too worried,’ I said, pulling my rucksack onto my shoulder. I made off towards the park’s entrance.

  ‘Paul,’ I called back. ‘You’ve helped me and I’m gonna help you in any way I can. Trust me.’

  I gave him one last wave before running all the way home as if I were floating on air.

  Chapter 19

  Amber

  I hadn’t returned to work after my showdown with Josh, preferring to go home and lick my wounds and work through two issues before I faced the world again. One issue was my perceived betrayal from Josh, and the second was the fact that my team at work could think so lowly of me. I put down Josh’s behaviour as him being a wimp and his vulgar brother’s lap dog, but my team? I had no excuse for them.

  The next morning as I stood in front of those very people, I was ready to bulldoze anyone or anything that stood in my way.

  ‘That’s it, everyone. Leave now if you think I’ve let you down. I need people willing to help me, not judge me,’ I said in a soft but assertive tone. ‘Anyone who won’t fight for this place or has a problem with me is free to go. Everyone else, prepare for war.’

  ‘What are you up to now?’ Harry asked.

  ‘I might not be sleeping with the enemy, Harry, but I am about to screw them six ways to Sunday,’ I said sarcastically. ‘I’m still in charge of this centre and I will do everything in my power to keep them from shutting us down. Jennifer, can I see you in my office, please?’

  I hoped she wouldn’t give me a hard time in front of everyone, as it was crucial that I show leadership. Everyone knew she was my right-hand woman, so if she wasn’t behind me, how could they be? To my surprise and relief, she stood and trailed behind me without saying a word. She closed the door behind her as I slid onto my desk chair.

  ‘You wanna know what corner I do my business on? You want me to seduce that fat pig Craig O’Neil for you, since that’s what I do best?’ she said. ‘Since you’re obviously too good to have sex with people you want to manipulate.’

  ‘Okay, just stop. Please, Jen. I brought you in here to apologise. That was brash of me yesterday and I am really, really sorry I said that. I felt like you were making me out to be some slut and I just wanted to slaughter someone,’ I explained.

  ‘Me?’

  Her eyes were bloodshot and wet and it tore me inside that I’d done that to her.

  ‘Yes, you. You know why? Because you are beautiful and sexy and you don’t even have to try to make people adore you. I picked you because you’re the only one in this office that ever gets a shag!’

  Jen and I had a bond of friendship forged purely through our sexual sense of humour and I hoped that my statement would cheer her up. She was so naïve, but with her sharp intellect and snappy humour, I sometimes forgot that, compared to me, Jen was just a lost little girl. For all intents and purposes, she was my little sister.

  She wanted to be mad at me, I could see that—I could understand that—but gradually, a naughty smile crept back across her lips. ‘You know, you’re right about that. None of you sorry sods ever get any.’

  ‘I know. Don’t rub it in though. I’m not that far gone yet.’ I shrugged innocently.

  She flung her arms around me and planted a big kiss on my cheek.

  ‘If you want to fuck the O’Neils,’ she whispered in my ear, ‘I’m the best advisor you have.’

  ‘Oh and don’t I know it!’ I replied, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from my heart. The other weight, the false happiness I still craved, proved a lot more stubborn. My heart had let me down once more, my quest for contentedness having once again made me drop my defences. But the worst wasn’t so much that I’d allowed Josh to get through to me, but that I’d thought he was sincere. Now I felt like the butt of a joke between a gang of cruel schoolboys.

  ‘Right, we’re going to campaign against these animals,’ I started.

  ‘I say we go public in a big way,’ Jennifer added as she took notes.

  ‘Perhaps not just the media, but we can hit social media and business chambers as well. The people dealing with them, other property companies. Let’s find people who’ve been stiffed by them before, other victims of their mercenary pursuits,’ I suggested further. My mean streak was another trait that had always lain dormant under my compassion, waiting to be used for the right reasons, and it was beautiful.

  Chapter 20

  Zack

  I knew my uncles thought I was blind to what went on in the family business, but they couldn’t be more wrong. I knew exactly what they were up to—well, Uncle Craig anyway. Numbers were my thing. I’d always had a knack for understanding complex calculations, the same way hackers knew how to bypass security systems. After stumbling across the financial papers in my uncle’s office, I knew something fishy was going on in the company. I imagined myself as a spy working for MI5. I had to find out how deep down the rabbit hole the corruption went.

  Which was why I was hiding behind a car across the street from Uncle Craig’s house, waiting for him to leave for work. He worked from home a lot and I didn’t doubt he kept files he wanted to keep private in his office. Gaining access to his house would be easy; I still had a key, the one I’d forgotten to give back after I stayed there a few nights, waiting for Uncle Josh to return from his travels when my mum died. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about what I might discover, but I needed to find evidence of his wrongdoings for my plan to succeed.

  It wasn’t long before the large oak door opened and my uncle breezed towards his Bentley parked outside his house. He gave himself a once over in the window’s reflection and despite his bulk, he gracefully slipped into the car.
Seconds later, he drove off, his lack of signalling causing the drivers behind him to hoot their horns in anger. My uncle ignored them, as usual. He cared about no one but himself.

  I waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t coming back, then I crossed the road, my eyes scanning the vicinity. If he caught me entering his house, there’d be hell to pay—for me and Uncle Josh, who Uncle Craig would no doubt blame for my wayward ways. It took less than two minutes for me to get inside the property. Uncle Craig didn’t have any kids, so his house was immaculate, not a thing out of place.

  As I crept along the polished wooden floor, I kept my ears open for any unfamiliar sounds. I knew my uncle hired call-girl services on a regular basis, so I had to be careful in case one of the women were still in the house.

  His office was on the ground floor and I quickly made my way towards it. The room had an over powering smell of leather and polish. I walked over to his larger than life mahogany desk and felt around underneath it until I located the key I’d seen him place there. I was glad to see Uncle Craig was still a creature of habit.

  I inserted the key into the filing cabinet that stood at the side of his desk. I pulled the drawer open and looked down at the neat, orderly files. I worked from the top downwards, pulling out random files and giving them a quick scan. To my horror, there was no smoking gun to be found.

  I replaced the files and tried to close the drawer, but something stopped it. I reached behind and felt a folder. I pulled it out and opened it. It took me only a few seconds to realise what I was holding in my hands and my heart stepped up a beat. Bingo!

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were plans for the Young Minds’ site, only they were different to the ones I’d seen at Uncle Josh’s. Flipping through the file, I came across a list of financial transactions. One payment stood out: Ouast Enterprises. My uncle had scribbled ‘Jason Lee’ next to it. Who the hell was that?